GIRLS (The Early Years)

Patricia Coyne broke my heart.

I was in deeply in love with her…
and totally believed she reciprocated the feelings.
BUT THEN…
she abruptly left me,
went off and married another man.

The year was 1957.

Patricia Coyne was my 3rd grade teacher.

As far back as I can remember,
there was never a time I didn’t have a crush on some lady or another.

 The breathtaking Miss Coyne looked liked Doris Day.

But it was soon after those early Doris days…
that my tastes began leaning towards to the somewhat more “stimulating”…

 Yvette Mimieux,
Joey Heatherton,
Anne-Margaret
and Hef’s playmate, Barbi Benton.

 Of course, in my reality of P.S. 91…
none of my distaff classmates looked quite like my celebrity crushes,
nonetheless, there were several who equally took my breath away.

While my passing of “love notes” and Valentines began in kindergarten,
my first real date was for the 5th Grade Dance.

I would invite Priscilla Weisbach…
a winsome lass who looked just like her name.
(Not quite Joey Heatherton).
Almost Amish in appearance,
with a pure, sweet, innocent, porcelain face and her signature braids.
I was smitten.

 BUT…

in order to take the heavenly Priscilla to the dance…
I realized that I would have actually have to ask her.

I carefully wrote down my “notes” on what I would say when I called.
I probably began dialing her number 4 or 5 times and hung up…
before my shaking fingers allowed me to complete my dial and connect.
(Of course, everyone in the 5th grade had already told Priscilla that I would be asking her).
My trembling voice began reciting my list of clever banter
and horrifyingly,
after about 30 seconds…
I had gone through my entire repertoire!?!
With nothing left to say…
I blurted out my invite.
Remarkably she accepted!

On “Dance Day”…
I slipped on my coolest corduroys,
found a snazzy Shirt-Jac,
and applied an excessive amount of Canoe cologne behind my ears.

I was “ready for love”.

We walked into the gym together.
Priscilla immediately ran to giggle with the other girls
as I joined my boys on the opposite side of the gym
for some friendly horseplay and showing off.
I did manage to share a dance or two with my date…
heart pounding,
as I put my arms ever-so-carefully carefully around her.

And after the dance,
(like the “big sport” I tried to be)…
I took Priscilla to Krum’s Ice Cream Parlor on the Grand Concourse
and spent my saved-up allowance on two sundaes.

I walked her home….
and yes…
kissed her goodnight!!

The “kiss” was actually more of a “peck”,
with lips barely grazing one another’s.
We both wanted to get the deed done as soon as possible,
so we could check it off on our early bucket lists….
and…
report to the rest of the 5th grade the next day.

A mere few months later, I was in the 6th Grade.
And suddenly everything changed.
Gone was the innocence.
By some miracle of nature…
the 6th Grade girls had undergone an amazing transformation
during the summer…
they had…ummm…
developed.

Plus, there was no need to wait for the 6th Grade dance…
there were co-ed parties and “group dates” every week.

Somehow, in school, I was placed into “6 Op”,
a class for “gifted students”.
(Clearly some paperwork had gotten messed up!?!)
While there were certainly some pretty girls in 6 Op…
the more “fast” girls were in “regular” classes.
And it was those classes that were having the good parties,
the “kissing” parties!!!!
That is clearly where I wanted to be!!!

I had my eyes on two lovelies in Class 6-2.
Unfortunately, they were already claimed by boys in their own class.
In fact they were “going steady”.
By definition, “going steady” in the 6th Grade meant
that a couple was committed to each other…
(usually for about 1-3 weeks).

It also meant…
that the “man” would bestow upon his “woman”…
his I.D. Bracelet,
a heavy chain wrist bracelet,
with his name etched on the (faux) silver bar.

Anyway, the two objects of my affection,
while staying true to their “steadies”,
devised a plan that would allow me to be invited to their smooch parties.
They decided that I would go steady with their friend Susan,
and thus “get on the invite list”.
I didn’t particularly like this Susan…
BUT…if that was the price to pay for admission…
I was ready.

 I headed over to Kresge’s on Fordham Road,
and easily found the counter selling the I.D. Bracelets. 
I picked out the least expensive (cheap) bracelet they had.
(I think it was $5.00).
And, (for an additional dollar),
I had them engrave it with a beautiful script font…  

And then,
in one of my more foolish moves,
(not fully grasping the “short-term steady” concept),
I had them engrave…

…on the flip side.

While my actions did gain me access to the parties…
in about a week, after “breaking up”…
I did wind up with an I.D. Bracelet that I could not offer to any other girl…
NOT named “Susan”!?

But…OH those parties!!

Most of them were held at the home of Sondra S.
(Names not revealed to protect the not-so-innocent)
Sondra S. had two things going for her:
(1)   She was clearly the most “advanced” in her “development”
(2)  Both of her parents worked, so her apartment was always “open”.

About 10-12 eager participants would gather for the festivities.
Now, keep in mind, this was the ‘50’s,
so our “amorous activities”…
were FAR more tame than the escapades of today’s middle-schoolers!

There were several varieties of “games”:
“Spin the Bottle”,
“Post Office”,
“ 7 Minutes in Heaven”,

My personal favorite…
“Water, Wine or Whiskey”.
This game didn’t involve any drinking.
The rules, simple:
One boy or girl was chosen.
He/she would then select three members of the opposite sex,
who, in secret, .
would determine who would represent each “beverage”.
The “contestant” would then blindly call out what to “drink”…
and then head off to a separate room to do…
I was never quite sure what??

I do remember once choosing Wine,
and discovering that I would be heading off with one Christine C.

Soon, after some awkward chatter…
Christine threw her arms around me,
and deftly…
slipped her tongue into my mouth!!!!!!
WAIT! WHAT? WHOA!!!
Who knew that was a thing?

Later on my more “educated” friends (not in 6 Op),
told me that act was called…
“French kissing” or “Soul kissing”.
Whatever…
I do know that Christine C.
did help me acquire an enthusiastic taste for “Wine”
Thank you Christine.

After a very “educational” 6th Grade…
I most eagerly looked forward to continuing my “studies”

 (“GIRLS PART II (Coming soon)

                    Would love to hear of your childhood romances.